Friday, 31 July 2015

Be true to yourself | Lifestyle

This will be the first time I've discussed this topic on my blog, sexuality. Specifically my sexuality. I married a man and had a baby so general presumptions are that I'm straight, when in fact I'm bisexual. When you meet someone initially you don't say 'hi I'm Michelle and I'm bisexual' just to set facts straight, but I wish it was that simple.

I'm writing this post because I've been reading things recently about being trapped in a situation where you feel you are unable to be 'you'. I would hate to be living in a world where I felt that I couldn't be 'me' as a person, and had to hide from everyone. I couldn't imagine how draining that would be on a daily basis to pretend to be someone else. In fact, it scares me.

My sexuality has never defined me as a person either. I came out when I was 19 to my mum with the words 'I think I might be gay' and asked her to tell my dad for me, I was too embarrassed. My parents have always been supportive of me and have met both my previous girlfriends and boyfriends. I've always been out in the workplace and never had a problem either. Perhaps I'm just one of the lucky ones who hasn't suffered persecution at all; apart from the occasional 'eurgh look at that lesbian and her girlfriend' comments from childish teenagers.

I must admit, sometimes it can be hard to be accepted with friends. I've lost a lot of gay friends because I've had a boyfriend and 'turned straight', and I've lost of a lot of straight friend when I've had a girlfriend and 'turned gay'. The usual 'you're just greedy' or 'you can't make your mind up' comments are always thrown around too. Mostly I just shrug it off and have a laugh because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me. Nowadays, my friends are my age or older, we've all grown up and become more accepting and generally couldn't give a damn what I or anyone else did.

A couple of questions that I've been asked too:
How do you know you're bisexual? Generally because I fancy both men and women.
How does it feel to be bisexual? I'm not sure how to answer this, because ultimately it feels like 'me'. I didn't just wake up one day and decide that I wanted to try anything new, it's always been a part of me and I've known I've liked both sexes since I was around 10. Obviously trying to work out my feelings when I was younger was pretty hard and that took it's toll until I was around 19/20, but that's all part of being a teenager and discovering yourself.
Are you greedy? Well no I'm not actually. Generally like the population, if I see someone and fancy them, I fancy them. It's not rocket science either.
Do you just want attention? Not really, like I said in paragraph one. If I did want attention I'm quite sure the first thing I would tell people was my sexuality, but like I've mentioned again, it doesn't define who I am as a person.
You must like threesomes? This is such a personal question I've been asked lots. I've never had one. And it boils down to the whole 'no I won't sleep with your girlfriend and you can't watch' either. I'm not down with all that kinda thing.
You must cheat on your partner or sleep around? Yet again, no. I've never done that. I do have a tendency to swap sexes once I've had the opposite. For example, had a boyfriend, split up, want a girlfriend, etc.
Do you prefer one sex to the other? Yes I do. I'm not sure whether this is me or whether this happens with most bisexual people, but I do have a tendency to sway towards men. I feel better stability in a relationship with a man but that's because my past experiences with women haven't been that good. Although to be honest when I was in my teens and early twenties my relationships with men weren't that good either. It's safe to say I haven't found the right person yet.

Ultimately, you fall for someone who you like, and that's how the cookie crumbles. I just wish the world was an easier place to live in, without persecution, and so that people really could just be themselves, and not have to hide from the world and create a separate persona; because I've never felt the need to do this for myself. Like I said earlier, I must just be lucky.

6 comments:

  1. Loved reading this post. Everyone should be able to be exactly who they want to be and who they are. There's far to many judgmental people in this world, but that's not your problem or anyone else problem, it's the judgmental persons problem! x

    Kate | A British Sparkle

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    1. Thank you. I just thought it was a little something my readers didn't know so might as well give a little insight to me x

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  2. I'm also bisexual and have, thankfully, also managed to be quite lucky in not getting any aggro from people for it. Until recently anyway. Lately, with the amazing attention that sexuality and gender is receiving (which us great btw) being bisexual seems to be the "greedy" sexuality again. I've also had people in the past month say things like "you can't be Bi, you're last 2 partners have been men". Like you, I believe that love doesn't care about gender. You love who you love and I wish you all the luck in the world for finding that person, whoever they may be xx

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  3. Very honest! As if people ask 'are you greedy' what the ? Thanks for the informative post!
    x GNAR MOSH x

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    1. Haha I can think of loads more things to add to it now, but yeah, I've had some strange comments x

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