Tuesday, 4 June 2013

China: The Doll Experience

So I knew I would be stared at when I went to China. But I was stared at, for all the reasons I never expected. I thought people would be judgemental of me and the husband being in a mixed race relationship, more so as he is a Chinese guy and I'm a Caucasian girl, and this is quite different to usual. 

But I wasn't. I was being stared at for being a doll. 

Everywhere I went people were commenting on my eyes, how bright and icy blue they are. Along with the length of my eyelashes and my eyelids and only how much young girls wanted to look like me. Coming from the UK where people stare and call me fat and say I have a weird sense in fashion this was a breath of fresh air!

However, when walking around the husband's home town I started to get sick of the looks. Until the husband told me they couldn't tell what race I was because of my black hair and full fringe! It never once crossed my mind that I didn't look that much out of the ordinary, just a larger framed, taller woman with a different facial shape. Oh and different coloured skin. 

That's where the wig came into play. Yep, I bought a pale brown long wig. Which actually helped! I wouldn't have believed no one really looked at me after that because they would tell I was Caucasian. Strange how little things actually make such a difference.  It made a difference to everyone else. They saw me gain my Caucasian identity however, I felt I had lost who I was. I felt plain and basic, it was an odd feeling and I would never like to feel that way again. 


Being told I'm cute on a bus, that is one thing I will never be able to get over. 
Being told that looking into my eyes makes someone feel like a small drop in the ocean, that's something else I will never EVER be able to get over!

3 comments:

  1. I can see what you mean about that feeling of losing your identity, however you really suit that wig! :-) xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. you really, really, really (!!!) suit the wig!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aww the wig looks so pretty, but I can totally understand why you would have felt uncomfortable in it! I can imagine it would have been quite an experience over in China, seeing people's reactions :) xx

    ReplyDelete