Thursday, 14 February 2013

Being in a LDR (long distance relationship)

Yes, finally long distance relationships have been abbreviated! I'm in a LDR. I understand many people are too, maybe not as far as 700 miles however. My fiancé (married in 6 weeks!) studies away in Germany, and I chose to remain in good old Yorkshire. Now a lot of you will wonder how that can ever work? All I can say is amazingly it does! We have somehow managed to keep our relationship going like this for almost 18 months, and probably will do for another 3 years!

Questions I get regularly asked about this: Why don't you move over to be with him?
Well the cost of living there is quite high, I wouldn't be able to work full time as I have no intention of leaning German and English-speaking jobs wouldn't equate to the same pay I receive here. Learning Mandarin Chinese is enough for me at the moment anyway!

How do you cope?
It was very hard in the beginning, we argued a lot and broke up a few times. Knowing that your loved one has a whole new life without you is pretty hard to adjust to. All these new friends and names going round in your head makes it easy to become jealous. However, you get used to it. It seems hard at first but 'time is a healer' comes to mind and actually works. I know his friends really well now and they include me in their lives too. You have to make the effort to be a part of that circle as well.

How often do you see each other?
Due to work and study, sometimes we go months without seeing each other. Communication really is the key. If it wasn't for smart phones and having Facebook messenger we wouldn't speak as often as we could. We Skype at every possibility just to keep each other in the loop. My phone bill is regularly high too!

I know it seems ridiculous but we have our reasons. My partner wants a better job when we move back to China to support our family without the worries we would have in the UK. And I can understand this. Which means I have to support him to reach his goal.

I just want people to understand when they can't see their partners as they live 20 minutes away that you are lucky. You should all make more effort with your loved ones and not take them for granted.

This Valentines day we will be having a Skype date!


  1. I love this I wrote about it recently too, I am also in a long distance relationship between London and Liverpool and Leeds:) It is hard as my chap is at uni and I never know what is going on. But we are still going so your post is an inspiration that it can work! x

  2. i wrote a post about not taking those you love for granted today too.

    i'm so excited for you to get married that i feel like im the one getting married! haah :

    X X

  3. Love this post <3 You really made me put things into perspective. Thank you x

  4. Thank you for the lovely comments! I was a little worried that it might come across the wrong way but I'm overjoyed it hasn't :) xo

  5. This is such a lovely post, me and my boyfriend have had a long distance relationship between Devon and Stoke-on-Trent for 4 and a half years (thank goodness for Skype and Facechat!). I have massive admiration for you and your boyfriend that you maintain your relationship over 700 miles, that truly is amazing! I hope you both had a lovely Valentines Skype date =)

    Sophs xx
    The Sopho Diaries